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Help my LO has attachment issues!

Updated: Oct 27, 2023

I've been wanting to discuss attachment issues for some time now, although I had a childcare background I wasn't familiar with attachment issues.

When it came to the realisation that LO was harbouring some issues, I put it down to the situation she had been placed in, and her behaviour was just a way she was trying to cope emotionally.

A friend had come to visit us and I noticed unlike the other children we were around my little LO wasn't playing on her own, she was sat on my knee most of the time despite being in a playgym. This particular playgym was a "go to" for us as it allows the adults to play alongside the children in ball pools, slides. I often struggled to get LO to play without myself, even though at 5 I would of expected her to just play and make friends I sensed letting me go caused her an internal struggle.

She would often look for reassurance asking if I was going to come home after work? Asking if I would be there to pick her up, after school. I just thought she needed reassurance because she had been close to her mother before everything happened.

The more time passed the more odd things I noticed, she would perceive physical touch sometimes as a threat, when people she had met before would greet her and pat her on the head she would act as though they were a threat to her and act strange toward them like there was no familiarity. What would baffle me more, is she was sometimes a lot more welcoming and charming towards total strangers and want to show them affection. On one occasion she walked up to the gas man and gave him a hug for no reason whatsoever.

The main issue that alarmed me was her lack of conscience, she would force others to show her love and attention sometimes physically hurting them in the process. I walked in the room to find her pulling my dogs tail and her legs to bring my dog closer to her. When the dog yelped, and I mentioned that she had hurt my dog. She smiled, fidgeted and said ok. I said "Don't you feel bad that you hurt the dog" and she simply said no.

My LO had a deep desire to be in control, of everything. When she was denied this we would see a lot of challenging behaviour.

I knew something wasn't quite right, but didn't want LO to feel under a magnifying glass. I discussed with school as I wasn't sure if I was dealing with it in the right way and they was sure in time she would get better as I was doing everything I could.

A year later and I'm happy to say she has improved significantly, BUT I often wonder for many of you if the same happens over time as every individual child may be different and have more severe issues.

My question is: when did you notice your LO had attachment issues, and what did you do to try help them?


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